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What a weekend it has been.

I went to Cake Craft for the first time. It's a cake decorating supply store. I'd never been. Basically, it's heaven lol... They have huge bottles of airbrush food coloring, dummy cakes, icing bags, piping tips, cake pans, cake fillings, cookie and candy supplies, pre cut boards in every size, icing, fondant, tons of decorations... it was basically heaven. I went kind of crazy and some how spent like $40 on food coloring, cake boards, cookie cutters and some lemon cake filling they promised me was out of this world yummy.
This was my prize though:
I was so excited when I saw it!
I told Jannell at the coffee shop this morning about it and she got stoked too. She said if I can get a great recipe and bust out some Ohio cookies, she'll see them in the pastry case! Awesome sauce!

Yesterday, we rode our bikes to Troy. It's a 50 mile round trip. We packed our little slim backpacks with flip flops, a change of clothes and a few other things and off we went.

Took us about an hour and 40 minutes to get into Troy. The path was just great.
We went to Brian's parents house and hung out with them a while. Then we went and got burgers and ice cream! While we were eating, it started POURING rain. Oh no! The trees outside were blowing sideways! We killed some time at the store buying some Good Sport (all natural gatorade type drink), and some gel shots and stuff. The rain died down and we headed home.

Well- the clear skies were short lived lol. We rode about 10 miles in the rain, but to be honest, it was kind of fun. Thankfully we were properly equipped and I was able to stash my iphone in my back pack. It has a waterproof pouch inside. Thank god for cycling specific gear lol...

About 16 miles in, there was an incident though lol.
I was rounding a corner, Brian was in front of me and suddenly, a fucking ground hog came out of no where. A HUGE FAT GIGANTIC ground hog. It ran right between my wheels!!! I SCREAMED. I couldn't do anything. I was wearing my clip in shoes and as it ran under me, it got wedged between my foot and my back tire. The ground was wet. I was sliding and skidding and there was a goddamn ground hog stuck between my foot and my tire. I was trying to keep my cool and managed to unclip my left shoe. I threw my foot down just in time to balance myself and not fall over. The very upset ground hog immediately popped out from beneath me and limped off under the bushes so fast it was like he was never there.
Brian had NO idea what was happening. He probably thought I was dying because I was just shrieking my face off. We have no idea how I didn't fall. And seriously, if I would have, I'd have fallen to the left, pinning the ground hog basically under my bike frame and my legs. It probably would have been a huge mess of blood,fur, teeth, claws and possibly some piss and shit. Who knows. Animals do crazy things when in peril. Either way, thank god I have the balance of an Olympic gymnast or some shit and managed to stay on my bike.
In any case, I was so upset about smooshing that fat furry fuck that my entire body was violently shaking and twitching for about ten minutes while I tried to calm down by eating my energy gel shot and drinking some water.

We continued home and let me tell you, I have never felt so gross in my life!
These photos don't even do justice to how filthy I was. My legs were covered in crud and mud and my clothes were soaking wet. It was kind of hilarious and gross...

Then we decided to go get some booze. We took a family car trip to get some Wendy's. We rarely eat fast food, but what the hell. We rode 50 miles lol. Eddy LOVES food windows and practically tried to crawl into the restaurant. He gets really disappointed when he's with us at drive up bank or pharmacy windows lol. He's still expecting noms.

Then we hit Belmont Party supply for some booze!
I've never known another place in my life that sells as many single bottle selections :)

I found these amazing ciders! They're 8% and they're made in Indiana! And in aluminum bottles. I tried the apple peach and the apple strawberry. They were DELICIOUS!
There was also an apple raspberry and a regular apple. They were $4 a bottle, but well worth it. I also got a four pack of strong bow. I drank these two and a strong bow and was drunk texting all through watching Sin City haha. I was yelling at the tv and laughing. It was a lot of fun. For real.

So when I woke up to the room spinning at 8am, I knew I needed coffee and coffee cake from PRESS before work today haha.

What a weekend.

I know


I haven't posted in forever. I know.
I have no tolerance for websites that are acting up. If you want to be constantly connected, add me on twitter lol @imtiffanyterror

It's been... crazy. Yesterday was the day from hell. I accomplished a lot though.

I got cakes done. This Minnie Mouse cake was for my co-worker's daughter.

And this epic deal was pretty fun to make. I even made the tower.

I haven't been sleeping much. Been too busy.

Got an ordeal I need thoughts on. I'll post about it soon. <3

It's almost Eddy's Birthday!

I will be making him a cake again, of course.
Want to be a part of the party?

Eddy&apos;s Birthday banner!

Create your own design and email it back to me at plasticshakeupsnow@gmail.com
Download the largest size here and create your panel!

I will print out the triangles and create a banner for his little doggie party!

It's his 4th birthday and he's the luckiest little chihuahua ever.


I didn't participate in this, Bob wanted me to, but I was tired and I ended up leaving before they did this, but they made this hilarious commercial for the bar on the 4th. Obviously, it's not a REAL commercial... and for the record it's sort of NSFW, but goddamn it's funny.
You even get to see Blind Bob himself at the end!

Yup. These are the people I get to be around every weekend lol.


So I wrote an awesome blog about Dayton on my other blog. You should go scope it out, it took me a long time to put together all the photos... as they were all taken in about an hour last night and I was on my bike for 8.5 miles snapping all the photos haha. There's some really great stuff here.

Also, I don't know if I showed you guys the Volkswagen cake I made for Todd's birthday or not.

You know what, just check out my entire cake blog, I'm sure there are a lot of things there I haven't shared here yet.

We did a 60 mile bike ride on Sunday! We went to Yellow Springs and back and it was a work out. It was SO hot. We thought it was a 50 mile ride, but it turned out to be 60 haha. Oops. We had an AMAZING lunch at The Winds Cafe... I had crepes filled with lemon marscapone and berries. I swear it was so good I could have eaten two plates full. I almost never eat everything on my plate, but I ate EVERY bite.
I swear I could have eaten an entire bowl of that marscapone cheese.

We saw fireworks Sunday night at the river and I even wore red lipstick.
Obligatory firework photo Hot date! And by hot I mean it&apos;s 500 degrees here at Riverscape...

I'm sure I did like 900 other things this weekend, but I can't find enough time to write about it all! How was your weekend!!??

Mocha Java Monday...

Friday night I'm not exactly sure what happened lol. I was sitting at home minding my own business, watching my dvr and sipping a few drinks. I had made myself a nice dinner and decided to just stay in... well, then Crystal texts me at like 11:30 or so and convinces me to go to c-bar. She pulls up out back and gets me and away we go. I remember getting there and having a couple drinks... and then Brian showed up to come get me at like 1:30 and instead Crystal and I ordered more drinks. I remember nothing after that. lol
It's a blur of Crystal's red lipstick, hugging people, laughing my ass off, making Brian walk me home even though he rode his bike and waking up to read a few hilarious strings of text messages and facebook updates that I have no recollection of making.

Saturday, I had to get up for our Saturday morning group ride with the metro parks haha. Nothing like a 13 mile bike ride in the sun to aggravate a hangover.

After that, we went for a walk with Eddy and found some lunch. Ended up at Smokin BBQ for some tasty ribs.
photophoto photo

Then we went on a family bike cruise.
People tell me they think the bike path is boring... they must not be paying attention.

We also went to a cute bike shop and a bookstore Saturday.

I bought a copy of I Am America and So Can You, and it's been the best thing I've read in a long time. I can't stop laughing while reading it. It's great.

Sunday, we did up the morning right with a visit to PRESS. My favorite place ever.
I swear, there's no better coffee on earth. I recently read a review on Yelp stating that Dayton doesn't even deserve PRESS because it's THAT good. I honestly agree. Other than the fact that I need it to live.
The french press ALL of their coffee... or you can get a pour-over. And the coffee... OH the coffee... it's SO good. They're so passionate and they strive for perfection.

Yesterday, I spent most of the day making a cake you'll get to see later and then we went on a 40 mile bike ride to Franklin and back!
photo Greetings from Franklin, Ohio
It was amazing. I've never felt so alive. The path was amazing. We saw cranes, a fox, some adorable cats hiding in the tall grass, a lot of dog walkers, and we even watched a pelican catching and eating fish in the river!! It was amazing. The ride was great and we talked the entire time. It was just the two of us and we did each 20 mile leg straight through without stopping. We snacked on pepperoni, grapes, bananas and energy gel cubes.

After a long weekend, it was great to snuggle up for bed with my babies.

Also, I have a hickey on my neck. As a 27 year old woman who has been married almost 7 years... should I be embarrassed or proud?? lol


This weekend was "grime prom" at the bar. Punk rock prom, basically. We filled the bar with balloons and stuff. Everyone guilted me into buying a dress to wear.
Everyone was awesome.
photo photo

We took Eddy to the dog park and he met a great dane. Hilarity.

I also did some awesome thrifting this weekend...
I got a great picnic basket, a hydration backpack, a silicone kitchen mat and a cupcake tin for $3.41... no joke. For all of that. The silicone mats are like $20 in stores, the picnic basket I saw at Walmart for $15, I paid $12 my other cupcake tin and that backpack is probably $25 new. So I'd say I did well.
We have also been having issues with our bike rack... it's a cheap $25 rack and it doesn't do well holding our two larger, decked out bikes. We almost lost my bike on I-75 Saturday morning! Yikes. Well I was out thrifting and low and behold, I found an $89 bike rack for $6.99. It holds 3 bikes and is only about a million times nicer than our old rack. It was missing two straps which Justin and I stole off my old rack and it's just great!

I bought this yesterday because Liz has been using it and says it works.

End of yesterday:

This morning:

No complaints from me! It's working. There's a $5 off coupon on their website so I paid $15 for the kit.

Yesterday was father's day and we spent some time with the family eating, lounging and drinking.

At the end of the night I got a little boozey and cried because I missed my dad. I can't believe it's been 12 years since he died.

Well, now it's Monday and I'm just ready to take on the week.

I'm so anxious for my Cricut, but I don't think it will arrive until Wednesday according to the tracking number. I wish I could have paid for it sooner so it would have shipped sooner! SO READY.

well then

Alright, so I don't even know where to start. I wait too long to update and then I end up with too many things to talk about...

First of all Saturday was my friend's art show. I did the steak cakes and I did chocolate bacon cupcakes for this meat themed show.
photo.JPG photo

I was also convinced to paint something. Which I'm not thrilled about, but here it is:
Be kind, I'm no painter!!! I've never tried to really paint a serious piece of art ever.
It's a steak growing in a corn husk... a statement about the grainfed cattle industry in America where corn is king.

I did not get to attend the art show because Brian wrecked his bike and smashed up his knee. I stayed home to take care of him. I ended up taking home two of the cupcakes so we could try them. I set them on the counter and we went to bed. When we woke up there was a massacre in the kitchen. I have so many questions. I wish I had a video of the events because I can't possibly understand what happened. The cat knocked everything off the counter. The cupcakes, the crockpot (which had soup in it and it broke), the pop corn popper, a plate... there was frosting and soup everywhere. He must have wanted the bacon. He ate almost an entire cupcake and then scattered the other one everywhere. I don't even... I... wow... I should have taken a photo. It was truly something. I would have never in a million years thought he was capable of something like that insanity.

Sunday was my niece's birthday party.
I made the cake:
1 photo

So much sass:

Then we came home and ordered Chinese and lounged around for a while.

I rode 12 miles on my bike and then later Brian and I did another 11.

It was a good weekend.

Currently, I'm obsessing over purchasing a Cricut Cake.

I am making a lot for a wedding cake/cupcakes I'm doing next week and I just need to splurge. Something to keep me inspired and working hard. I think once I get it, my wedding cake possibilities will shoot through the roof. I swoon over the damask design cartridge. I need this in my life.

Brian and Tiffany and Brian and Tiffany

I think I forgot to mention this before... but we went to a "meet your neighbors" thing at our building on Thursday. While there, our property manager waved us over and said, "Hey... look... but don't look right now! That couple behind me... totally also are Brian and Tiffany." We were baffled. They were a young couple, he had a bunch of tattoos... and they were also... Brian and Tiffany. LOL

We, of course, invited them to dinner.

They came over tonight and it was fun. They were super cool. We went to see their apartment and looked at their bikes, which needed some work. She needed both tubes replaced. I think he was fine actually. They had sweet vintage bikes.
Their apartment is a one bedroom. It's completely different from our, since this building was originally a warehouse and all lol. They have an awesome like... giant... door thing... I can't even explain it lol. I should have taken a photo. Basically, it's part of their wall, but it's like a giant old door. It's super sweet.

Anyhow, we asked if they wanted to ride and I let Tiffany ride my green bike and Brian rode Brian's Schwinn. (See how confusing this is?) lol
We did 12 miles and it was fun. They really seemed to enjoy it! It was nice. Our friend Chris rode with us too. It was just a calm, chill ride. We had a great time.
I hope we hang out with them more, it would be nice to have some friends in our building.

Yesterday we actually did 45 miles. We rode 10 in the morning and then 35 last night.
Now Brian is online looking at tandem bikes lol. He's crazy.

Oh what a weekend!

Friday was a night! What a night it was. First Brian and I had dinner at Blind Bob's. They finally put Original Sin on tap. And I drank pint number one... I'll try to recall the details from here, but it's a bit fuzzy lol. Brian and I went on a scooter ride and it was just awesome out! Then we headed home and Brian had to do sound at the bar, so he headed back to Bob's. I stayed home for a bit and Crystal popped over with her friend Nate and walked over to the bar and I had pint number two.
This band that was going on when we got there was a band I totally hated. The lead singer and I have beef. He's a cocky asshole and I made fun of him on twitter. It was a long story from there where I wouldn't back down on what I said about him... blah blah blah we hate each other. I kept telling people I was going to get drunk and brawl him hahaha. I did not. For the record. Didn't say a word to him haha.
I hung outside with Crystal and Nate for a while on the patio and talked to some old friends about old times.
Then it was time for the zombie walk! I didn't take any photos, wish I would have.
You can see some here: http://www.facebook.com/daytonzombiewalk?sk=photos
The very best guy was dressed in a full suit, had PERFECT make up, a brief case with papers hanging out of it and was RUNNING FULL SPEED. And stayed totally in character and looked fucking angry as hell the entire time. I caught him at the bar later and gushed to him over and over about how he was the BEST zombie on 5th street. And then he growled at me.

So then I went to the bar for pint number 3. That's when Nightbeast went on stage... YEEAAAHHH. Stood up front with Katie and danced and sang along. Awesomeness. Then right after he was done singing, the rest of my girls showed up. Squeal fest... hugging... dancing... stood at the bar and ordered pint number four.
We decided we would go to Club Vex down the street for goth night. Because why not?
We tried to chug our drinks which was an awful idea. haha.

Then we ran up the street to Vex. Justin took his wristband and gave it to me so I could get in lol. The girls and I ran in drunkenly to the dance floor and started dancing our tails off. They started playing thriller. The entire room was full of fog, strobe lights and lasers. There are cages hanging in the corners of the rooms... the four of us saw an open one and piled in. I fell getting in haha. We danced like crazy people as insane industrial music was blasting all around us. We were sweating and grinding on each other and it was just a hilarious drunken mess.

After a while we couldn't breath and had to climb down and go outside. That's where everyone on the patio were evidently watching a group of about five or six people basically all making out and dry humping each other. It was a complete train wreck. We posed in front of them for photos like tourists in front of the Eiffel Tower. It was so funny.
It was something. I'll tell ya... ah man...

Eventually I was tired and wandered home.
I think these photos describe the night:
photo.JPG photo.JPG photo.JPG

I don't even... yeah... lol I don't know.

Anyhow. Somehow, managed to get up early enough to be at the Saturday metro parks bike ride at 9:00am Saturday!
I rode with my road shoes and it was a great ride. We did a trail we haven't really done and there was another guy there who was doing his first ride with his shoes. He said he fell twice already. lol
The only bad part was that it rained a bit while we were riding, never where we were, but it made a lot of mud and when we rode back through, I got covered in mud since I wasn't on my bike with fenders. omg... so muddy.

We went home and showered, then grocery shopped for tons of lovely delicious foods!

After that, we hopped on the scooter for a ride and went to the Paddle in the Park even at Eastwood park. For free, you got a kayaking lesson!

It was a ton of fun! We had a great time. It was something we have casually discussed trying, but now I think we're really going to try to do it some time!
It was great. I love Dayton.

After that, we hopped on the scooter and rode around to some other parks, then to Carrilon park for kite flying!
photo.JPG Bells

After that, we got rainbow sherbet at UDF.

What a day what a day! We made burgers at home and chilled for a while. Crystal came over to ride, but when we got outside it started to CRAZY storm. We had to go back in and lay low for a while. We didn't get back out. It was pouring and thunder and lightning for hours.

Went to bed around two am and got up at 9:30 to ride bikes again.
not sure what today has in store! But we'll see!!!

Away we go

We went to a baseball game Tuesday. I'm way too ADD to have any idea WTF is going on, but I do know I had cotton candy, a pretzel with cheese and dippin dots. Nom.
Baseball game love. Om nom

We've also spent a few days this week hanging with Karen and Justin. Thank god. I missed them.
photo.JPG photo.JPG

I got my new pedals on my road bike and tried out my new road shoes. HORRIFIC.
(sorry my friends and I are obsessed with instagram)

But yeah- horrific. It's so scary. If you don't know what these are it's called riding clipless, which makes no sense to me, because there are clips involved, but whatever.
Basically, there's a plate on the bottom of the shoe that clicks into a plate on the pedal. The shoe soles are super stiff and don't bend. When you pedal, you're getting power from the down stroke AND the upstroke because your foot is clicked in and pulls the pedal up.
Correct me if I'm wrong on anything. I'm a complete n00b to this.
Any how, the horrific part is that when you need to stop, you have to unclip by twisting your foot to release the plate. Well, when you're new to this and you're in panic mode, you forget what to do and most people just fall over sideways trying to yank their foot out within the first week.
Last night Brian stopped in front of me and I got my right foot out but couldn't get the left! My bike just fell over sideways and I somehow contorted my leg and unclipped right as I was about to go down in a blaze of... Well not really glory.
The point is, I saved it!
Then I unclipped at a light and then tried to clip back in but we were going over the cobbles on 5th street. You're trying to click something the size of not even a quarter together on the bottom of your foot. The hard soles of the shoes were just clacking all over my pedals. I was freaking out lol.
Ugh I need to get used to it. I'm told a week from now I'll never want to go back lol we'll see.

It's so funny though... I'm not a sporty person. I never have been. I've never been athletic. I was the kid who sat on the bleachers in high school. I thought sports stores were stupid. Look at me now!

I have special shoes, special shorts, gloves, freaking special socks LOL. I've got special jackets, bras, shirts... Armbands and headbands and bags and just... WTF hahaha. I'm like... Athletic.
Ah man.
At least I'm getting my body back. Slimming down.
Getting rid of this pudge.

Well that's about it for now I suppose. Hoping for weekend adventures.

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Still hurts

I just feel so... Empty.


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The waiting game

We went to the doctor this morning. Appointment at 8:30... didn't see the doctor until almost 9:30. Laaaame. I love this guy, but I hate waiting to see him lol. He told me that, unfortunately, my blood tests HAVEN'T COME IN YET. Forreal? Dammit. So he just sort of talked about what meds he is considering for me once the results come back. Which could be another week. Rawr! We did my post-op and talked about what meds he would be putting me on depending on my lab results. He wants me to take vitamins and start an aspirin regimen now and we'll be trying again once my body has caught up with a full cycle. And we'll also know by then what the blood test results are. He said if we don't get pregnant again within 3-4 months, he will get us on medication to help us get pregnant.

I also looked at my insurance website today... I'm a bit baffled by this:
I mean, do I just have super baller insurance or am I missing something. I don't really know how all this stuff works. Maybe there's some flat deductible or something. But I'll say I'm stupid grateful about these numbers for now.

Yesterday, we rode... a lot. Like... a lot.
45 miles total.
photo.PNG photo.PNG

Bikey boys

Lots of fun out with people riding around and lots of puppy snuggles in between.
Pup snuggles

Hopefully next week we get a call and they know what the deal is. He told me even if the results show nothing abnormal, he has a plan and we're going to work this out and he is going to find a way to help us make a damn baby.

Saturdays Worlds Away

I gave tomorrow off from work so today was like Saturday for us. It was nice. This has been a pretty good weekend.
On Friday I worked at the bar and I did my hair and makeup just because it was my first night back at the bar and I wanted to feel like I had my shit together.


We worked the battle of the bands. Then Saturday we went for an early bike ride then we had brunch before I got my tattoo done. After that, we did a bit more biking and then worked round two battle of the bands at tge bar.

This morning we got up and rode. We only did 8 miles because it was SO hot. I almost threw up. I felt awful. The sun was crazy bright and it was in the 80s. I was not happy.

We met Hef and Josh for lunch at the 5th St Deli and they have a new summer menu with tasty sandwiches. After that, some light grocery shopping and ice cream!

Nothing better on a hot day like today!
Afterward we went to Press for the first time in months and I had a wonderful latte. Brian had a pour over. It was all just great. I missed that place so bad.

We had everyone up for a cook out on the roof. It was the first time we've all been together before all the bad stuff. It was so great to be with everyone.

Kelly's mom had her bring me a ton of oatmeal! I said on Facebook how I was trying to find oatmeal that's good for you and doesn't taste like tree bark lol. I love Kelly's mom!

And Todd gave us tickets to the baseball game Tuesday night because he has season tickets, but he's going to a reds game that night. We're stoked because we never get to go to games. We live two blocks from the stadium, but never go!

Hef and Karen talked about how we were going to go swimming tons this summer. After everyone left, I tried on my swim suit. And honestly... For maybe the first time ever, I didn't freak out.

I'm not upset about that at all. :)

Well, now I'm in bed and ready to snooze out with the boy and the dog.
photo.JPG photo.JPG

So glad to have another day off tomorrow. So incredibly thankful for that.

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Little Peach

I went in today and Kevin did my peach tattoo.

He drew it up and we realized for it to be nice, we couldn't really do it on my arm, I seriously only have little openings a few inches here and there between things. So we put it on my shin. It sort of made sense anyway since I have my honey bear tattoo that represents Brian on that leg as well.


I just fucking adore Kevin. He always takes my ideas and then turns them into something ten times more amazing than I could have imagined. I am so in love with it. It's just beyond perfect.

I did a little time lapse video. It's not perfect because I didn't want him to feel like he had something different than usual. I just wanted him to tattoo the way he usually does.

Drop bars not bombs

Took a short bike ride last night. About three miles. I'm not sure if I'm not up to it yet or if I don't want to be. Does that make any sense? I don't know.

In any case, it stopped raining long enough to enjoy a bit of sunshine.

She's not always perfect, but she's my city and sometimes she sparkles like the Gem City she is.


There was a rainbow:

Two, actually

It was nice to see something pretty.

I've been dealing with extreme anxiety the past couple of days. I feel like my hands are shaking but if I had them out and look at them they're still. I can't focus on anything. I feel scattered and anxious and worried.
I'm on edge.

Last night Brian made dinner and I kept saying the pan he was using was going to set off the fire alarm. He kept acting like I was freaking out for no reason, but I know better. Of course it went off. And in our building it's not just a no big deal thing. The alarms go straight to the fire dept. They're the only ones who can reset them. Awesome. So they had to come out and take our info. It was stressful.

I'm glad it's Friday and it's a three day weekend. But I'm going back to work at the bar this weekend. (tonight). I am not sure how well I'll handle it. We'll see how it goes. I feel like there will be a lot of people who don't know what happened. Sometimes I wish I didn't know so many people :/

It's a big battle of the bands tonight and tomorrow. Hoping for a good night with out incident.

I think I'm getting tattooed tomorrow. Don't know what time. We'll see what happens with that.

I really need some sort of adventure. I don't feel like me.

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Giving up on giving up slowly

I'm ready to be me again. Thought i'd stop taking my pain pills today, but once I got to work I decided against that after all lol. Maybe another day or two. I'm ready to feel better, but I can't force it.


I'm ready to drink coffee and get tattooed and ride my bike. I'm ready to get back to my life. I know I can't totally move on until I get those blood test results, but we'll see what happens.

I absolutely have to flatten my tummy back out so I can stop freaking out about it. I hate still having the bump and I keep wearing loose clothing to try to hide it because I hate it so much. I can't do much in the way of exercise yet, but asap. I need it gone. I'm already down another pant size. I'm out of my 11s and into a size 10. But now my belt is too long and I have to wear it on the tightest hole and it's too wide to tuck into the belt loop again so it flops around. I don't know. I guess I need a new belt, but I've had this one forever. Plus quality studded belts are so expensive and I can't imagine wearing anything else. I MIGHT have a white studded belt someplace from when I used to be skinny. Maybe I can find it.

I did my hair and make up today, first time in a long time. Of course with 90% humidity, my hair fell pretty quickly. This is just depressing:

Ah well.

Trying to get my tattoo appointment set up. It turns out Brian just has some weird thing against memorial tattoos. Which is bizarre because we've been together 8 years and I've never heard him say that. But whatever. I guess he was just trying to get out of it after saying he'd do it. Weird. Oh well.
I'm trying to set up an appointment via Facebook because for some reason Kevin is awful at answering texts an phone calls this week. Oh well.

I think I'll get my hair done this week as well. It needs attention badly. Karen is going to scream when she sees my split ends. They're upsetting.

A huge truck just dropped off two pallets of stuff... So I suppose I should get to work. Though who wants to do that? Lol

I've been mini updating a lot. I kind of like it. It's helping.

Hmm the phones at work aren't dialing out. Weird. Too bad it's not the other way around ;)

I wish I could get tattooed today, but that might be wishful thinking. I want to do a time lapse video of the process.

Alright so the boxes behind me aren't disappearing into thin air as I hoped they would. Gotta get to receiving all this inventory.

Later. <3 love you all to pieces.

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Somedays are bad

Today was one of those days for me.

I cried at work at one point. Thought I had my shit together. Didn't cry yesterday at all.

I got home and my mailbox was stuffed full of my cloth diapers I ordered before all of this bullshit. And baby magazines.

I took a deep breath and opened the packages. I had to. The diapers were SO nice. And it just killed me. I was so bummed out knowing I have no use for them.
I took them in the second bedroom and decided to pack up all the baby stuff.

The tiny turtle onesie, the tiny ducky onesie, the tiny polar bear pjs, the blanket from Brian's mom, the plush octopus we bought during our FIRST pregnancy... I'll tell you what, having to box that thing up AGAIN was heartbreaking. The diapers and books... Ugh.

I cried a lot. Okay so I BAWLED. And Brian held me. I am freaking out about having to wait a week to see the doctor. I guess I'm hoping for the best and preparing for the worst. I just need answers. I don't want to be told they don't know what happened or why.
I swear I'd rather be told "we know what happened, but it's not treatable" than "we have not explanation."
Does that make sense?

Sometimes I'm crazy optimistic and sometimes I'm a hot mess.

I wanted to ride today. I thought I could do it. We did go to the river and back. I wanted to take Eddy.

I packed him into that damn baby sling I ordered.


We went to the river and I taught Eddy how to run along side my bike. Well, running for a chihuahua is about 4 mph, but yeah. It was adorable. Along the river I saw this, which I'd never seen in the hundreds of times I'd been there:

It was like someone put it there just for me.
It's by Paul Lawrence Dunbar. He's from here.

The bike ride wore me out, but it was worth it. I needed it.

I'm still trying to figure out when I can get my tattoo. Brian originally said he'd get it too and then changed his mind like I knew he would. I was surprised when he said he would do it with me in the first place. I don't know, he just is weird about memorial tattoos.
Then he told me we didn't have the money for it. Then he told me we did. Then I asked him just now and he said "oh I was going to talk to you about that... But let me finish reading this blog first." :/ I can only assume he's now going to say we don't have the money. Guess we'll see.

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The Secret Garden

Brian and I went to Wegerzyn Gardens Sunday. I needed to be inspired by someplace beautiful...

They had some really lovely plants and we saw some great things. We mainly went for the large exhibit, but everything else was great as well.

photo photo photo photo

The exhibit was a giant organic interactive sculpture. It was designed by one man and assembled, completely with local birch branches, by over 100 volunteers.

It's a huge maze.
photo.JPG photo.JPG photo.JPG

I took a video on my phone, but I didn't know if I shot it in portrait that it would letterbox it so badly. I also spent an hour letting the video upload in HD and I think it looks like crap. Oh well.

Also, I downloaded iTimeLapse on my phone and made this short video yesterday.
I was really nice to get out.

30 minutes of my day at work time lapsed to about 38 seconds. Well, 37, evidently. My phone said 38, but this said 37 so whatever.

Also here's my tutorial for the week:

Watermelon Strawberry Smoothie Pops.

Little Things

I'm trying to keep myself invested in little things that make me smile. Trying to enrich my life as much as possible.

I jumped a huge hurdle yesterday when the baby wearing sling I ordered arrived in the mail. I held my breath and opened the package and didn't even cry. But I sure carried Eddy around in it for 20 minutes. Just lugging him around the house. He kept giving Brian "please-save-me-from-this-crazy-lady" glances, but whatever. I needed it to be about something else.

I changed my iphone lock screen and background and organized all of my apps.
photo.PNG photo.PNG photo.PNG

Just little things... that make me smile.
What are your favorite apps? Not games.

I downloaded a little time lapse video maker for my phone. I think it will be fun to make some little time lapse videos. I'm hoping I can mount my phone on the front of my bike and make some interesting time lapse travel videos. Hoping I'll be back on my bike later this week. This is just the first little video I made.

Little man has spent about every minute of the past week by my side. I love him to pieces.

I'm completely dreading going back to work tomorrow. Mostly, I just don't want to have to talk about everything over and over. I am finally emotionally distancing myself. I only cried a little yesterday and no crying so far today.

I just need to see something beautiful today. I hope we can make it to the gardens today. I thought we were going to go this morning, but Brian ended up having to go meet his dad someplace so here I am alone again. :/

Yesterday Chelsea came from Indiana and it was so good for my soul to be with her. I love her so much. So fucking much. We went to Ben and Jerry's and got Stephen Colbert Americone Dream ice cream in giant waffle cones. And we ate every last bite. It was the first time all week I went out and did something with someone. Then her and Bryan came over for dinner and we made muscles and pasta. I know most people would want someone else to cook for them when they're not feeling well, but cooking really is like our therapy...

They hung out and we watched Animal Planet with us for a couple of hours. It was really nice. We have good friends.

I think Brian just got home and we're going to the gardens now. Expect lots of photos. You really need to see this. I hope it touches me and helps me through this.
I am just... frustrated right now. I feel like all the things I would want to do that would make me feel better I can't do. I want to ride my bike. But I'm in so much pain, I can't. I rode the two blocks to the bike summit breakfast yesterday. It was a big deal and I wanted to go. The four block round trip left me feeling sick and light headed. My abdomen hurt and I crawled back in bed and slept for three more hours. I wanted to go to the big bike summit meeting, but there was no way I would have made it. I felt awful.

I wanted Brian to go out and ride because I know it will help him feel better. He did 32 miles yesterday. I'm glad he got to go do it, but I felt so alone at home watching tv. Just helpless and alone. This morning he went to do the weekly metro parks ride. At least it's an early ride... he'll be home soon.

I'm snuggled with Eddy on the couch.

I think Kevin is going to do our tattoos tonight. Brian said he'd get the tattoo with me.

We've had three huge floral arrangements and a lot of cards delivered to the house. I've had hundreds of comments and messages here, on facebook, texts etc. We have a lot of friends and people care about us a lot. People all over the world.

I have times where I feel pretty good. Right now, though I'm feeling a bit lonely, I feel like I'm okay and I can do this. But then I see something or think of something and I completely break down and in that moment I feel like I will NEVER be okay.
The thought of going back to work on Monday horrifies me. I don't know if I'll make it through the day.

I like to think when my diaper order arrives, I'll be able to unpack them, sort them, fold them up and box them up and put them away with the other baby items and feel hopeful. But the truth is, I'll probably completely lose my shit and bawl my eyes out.

When my baby sling arrives in the mail, I'd like to think I can shrug it off and scoop Eddy up an put him in it. In my mind, I'm strong and I can do these things, but I really doubt it can happen like that.

I haven't told anyone about this yet, but the day before this all happened I had a dream that I had my baby and it was the most beautiful, perfect baby in the whole world. I dreamed that I got to hold my baby and nurse my baby and it was the most amazing, beautiful thing in the world. I woke up so happy and anxious. I was anxious because waiting six months seemed like such a long time to wait to meet my baby...

I'm SO fucking scared. I'm so fucking worried... that this won't or can't happen for us. It took us SIX YEARS to get pregnant a second time. Six years. We're so ready. We have so much love to give. We have so much to teach. So much to give.
If this doctor can't help us, I just don't know. I don't think I can go through this again. Four days ago, I thought six months was too long to wait for my baby and now I'm terrified I might have to wait another six years.

We're not getting any younger. I feel like I'll be 30 before I know it. Even if I got pregnant again in a matter of months, I'd be 28 before the baby came.

Well, now I'm back to the sobby mess again.

Thank you for letting me vent everyone. <3

I don't think I can properly express to you all how thankful I am for your comments. I don't think I have enough energy to give each of your comments the proper attention they deserve.

I swear I truly love you guys so much. You mean the world to me. You've been with me through so much.

Last night was terrible. I think my body went into shock. I was crying and hysterical for hours and around 11:30 I started badly cramping. I couldn't sleep because there was so much pain. At 1:30 am while I was tossing and turning a gush of blood came and I had to run to the bathroom. I bled heavily for the next few hours. I slept maybe for an hour total.

I had to be at the hospital at 6:30am for surgery this morning. I don't remember much. I was knocked out before we got to the OR and woke up in recovery about an hour later. I remember being really freaked out by all the things hooked up to me. Wires on my chest and my finger, the iv was awful. I hate IVs, it hurt so bad. And they wouldn't take it out until I was 100% dressed and ready to go.

I think my doctor came in and talked to me. I don't really know. I was out of it. When I woke up I asked for Eddy (my dog) if that tells you anything.

I've spent most of the day in bed crying on and off. I'm on bed rest. I got two beautiful sets of flowers delivered. One from Chelsea with ColdPlay lyrics in the card that made mr bawl and one from my work.
If nothing else, I know a lot of people love me.

I'm hoping I feel good enough to go back to the hospital tomorrow and get the bloodwork done. and make an appointment with my doctor. I hope he can fix me. We can't give up. As heartbreaking as this is. I can't leave it here. I am not a person who gives up. I am not a person who stops when something gets difficult. Some times to a fault.

I'm thinking about getting a tattoo. Of a peach with a halo. Because this week my baby would have been the size of a peach. I think it stopped growing when it was the size of a lime, but I want to memorialize this 12 week journey.
It was weird, right when I was thinking about this, Kevin (my friend/tattoo artist, for the people newer to my journal) called me and asked me if we needed anything at all to call him. I pretty much just cried into the phone and said thank you a few times. I'll ask him later this week.

I'm in bed right now feeling empty and sad. I'm in pain, but only allowed to take my pain meds every 8 hours :(

Again, thank you guys so much for the live and support. I can't explain how much it means to me to know how many people care. <3

Posted via LiveJournal app for iPhone.


From draft

Here's an entry I was going to post last Thursday, but I never got a chance. I don't want it to be lost forever:

cake stuff, mostlyCollapse )

Posted via LiveJournal app for iPhone.


Tiffany Eat World

I went from never hungry to always hungry. I Am starving all day long.
We make such good food!
I made egg drop soup the other day and it was so good. Then we had the family over and made home made organic pizzas with home made crust.


It's been raining every single day again, but yesterday was actually really nice.

It's supposed to keep raining the rest of the were though. Of course.

Last night we went to my niece's jr high school play. Willy Wonka. It was interesting hahaha. They're kids, what can I say? The mics cut in and out, you couldn't see things always. It was in one of those awful cafeteria/theatre combos. (I went to art school, what can I say, I was spoiled with a super nice proper theatre.

It was great to see her up there though. She did great.

Then we went with Brian's parents to Applebee's. I was STARVING so I ordered the entire appetizer sampler. WTF was I thinking? I ate it all and then looked it up online. Well over 1,000 calories. Can't even believe I ate it all. I've never finished a plate of food that big in my life.
Oh well. Got on the scale this morning and I've lost another pound. I'm at a complete loss. My belly is still poking out though.

It's really bizarre to lose weight, but look more chubby. My belly feels like a balloon. For real. It's freaking weird.
I'm still sort of not believing it's all real. It's so weird.

For now this is still my baby though!

He was such a hood sport when I put this on him. I think he really looked it. When I took it off him he picked it up and drug it around for a bit haha.

Hope everyone has a good weekend!

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Nesting Part One

So today was a "me" day. I went thrifting today for the first time in forever! Like the last time I went was before Vegas!

I hit gold. Got a cute dress and a skirt and a shirt. Other than that, I got some really amazing deals!

I got a gorgeous cornflower blue Le Creuset! For TWENTY FIVE DOLLARS. Pictured here with my yellow Le Creuset which was purchased at the outlet mall, a factory second even... For $180. So yeah, when I saw the blue one, I almost peed my pants.

Le Creuset

A while back at this same thrift store I had picked up a Le Creuset small sauce pan for $8. I think even that tiny pan retails for $70 or so.
Le Crueset

I was getting ready to leave when I saw the exact high chair I had picked out at the store. In the store it was $35. Thrift store: $11. Yeah, I'm 10 weeks pregnant, but I can't resist a deal.
High Chair
Eddy modeled it for me.

When I got home I started cleaning only the way a stressed out maniac pregnant woman can. I started with the fridge. I took out everything. Removed the shelves, drawers etc, sprayed and wiped down all of it. Threw out leftovers... Organized. I went through the pantry and had a fit about there being two boxes open of the same crackers or three bags open of the same chips lol

Then I moved on to the hall closet. It's embarrassing. Brian hates that closet. If I clean and I just need to hide something I chuck it into that closet like a teenager. Ugh. I keep all boxes from expensive purchases in here as well.
It was... Bad.
Closet Before Closet After

I was proud hah. I actually threw away 90% of the stuff in there. What was I thinking? I had old torn up shoes and crumpled gift wrap and ripped gift bags... I don't even know lol

Then I moved onto weirder things. Like the living room chair. Eddy and Gibson tore the lining out of the bottom and have like... Made a club house in there. They both crawl in there! Not together, but yeah. I found dog food all under the chair lol
I cut them off today lol
Chair Before Chair After

After that I did the kitchen drawer...
Drawer After Drawer After

After that I vacuumed the whole place, did three loads of laundry, made the bed, did a load of dishes, drugs an old desk and half a dozen old boxes to the dumpster, cleaned the stove, took out the trash and wiped down the counter.

It was pretty exhausting. I'm at work at the bar now though and funny enough, I'm thinking of all the other things I want to clean at home tomorrow. Heck, even when we get home I'll have laundry in the dryer to fold and laundry in the washer to put in the dryer.

I'm pissed because we ran out of Greenworks spray. So we bought a bottle of 7th Generation spray. I cleaned the kitchen counter with it and almost barfed. It smelled so gross to me. I looked and sure enough, it has thyme oil in it. I can't stand the smell of thyme. Ugh. I set it aside and said we'll return it tomorrow. I only used like two squirts. I can't deal with that lol. I love the Greekworks. It's good cleaner and doesnt really smell like anything.

Well, that's about it for tonight. Hope you're all having a good weekend!

Posted via LiveJournal app for iPhone.


Seasons change

Well, it's been pouring rain here mostly. I guess that's what spring is for, but gosh it's depressing. I hate riding my bike in the rain. When it isn't raining, we're bring slammed with 20+ mph winds! Do you know what it feels like to ride into 20-30mph winds? AWFUL lol. You're working so hard, pedaling your ass off to go 8mph hahaha. My usual cadence is between 12-17mph haha.

Well, the sun was out today and winds were down to maybe 10mph. So not awful. We rode out to Chipotle by UD and then took our food over to Carillon Parl.

We dined under the bell tower even though I was cold and wishing for a jacket. Brian squirted stolen Chipotle hot sauce on his burrito bowl and we sipped pom cherry Nantucket Nectars.

When I was little my parents often took us to that park for picnics and kite flying. It was kind of nostalgic. I'm not sure in all our years as a couple Brian and I had ever been there together. He told me his grandfather proposed to his grandmother there.


I think there is something sort of romantic about bell towers. I love how casual this one is. My friend was married last year on the very steps we sat and ate our dinner on tonight while children ran around us squealing and playing.

It was a perfect (chilly) spring afternoon.


I didn't even mind the windy ride home because the sky was so clear.

Also, I must get my husband to pose for a real photo. He's lost almost 60lbs now and he looks amazing. It's kind of wild. He's doing so well. I'm ridiculously proud of him. He says he doesn't want our baby to ever even know "fat dad" lol. I know our child (and I) would, of course, love him no matter what. But it's cute.

I'm feeling pretty well still. The tiredness comes and goes. My appetite has returned. I would, obviously, rather be home in bed right now than working at the bar, but I like money and hey, I pussed out on both nights last week. We gotta save up!

Here's my little tiny 9 week 4 day baby bump.

It's not much of a bump, but I FEELS so different. I make Brian poke it sometimes so he can feel how weird it is lol. I even made his mom feel it. She agreed haha. It's like squishy but hard underneath. Lol it's just odd.
I've experienced a lot of muscle pain that most people seem to say they don't feel until later along, but everyone is different. He'll my lower back hurts already.

I hope I'm doing an alright job of balancing my journal between my usual life and my pregnancy. I know that not everyone cares about every ache and pain I have over the next seven months and I know some people do! Lol I've said before that I don't think having a baby is going to drastically change me as a person and I want people to know my blog isn't probably ever just going to turn into a generic mommy blog. Come on, you know I'm still going to have adventures!

I love you guys, seriously haha!

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Las Vegas!


This was the view from our room. I wish we'd taken photos of the room before trashing it because it was really nice.

This was the pool at the hotel

We went to Jean Philippe's chocolate shop at the Bellagio and it was FANTASTIC. I could have lived there forever. Stunning. The chocolate was amazing. I got truffles and Karen and Justin got these cheese cakes wrapped in chocolate. We all shared everything.
photo photo

We ate lunch at Witchcraft and the sandwiches were amazing. My mozzarella stretched all the way across the table lol

We had so much fun!
photo photo photo photo photo

More photos!Collapse )

Our favorite casino/hotel building was the cosmopolitan. It was just gorgeous. We stopped in at their swanky bar and all crashed on their plush, stylish seating.

The only thing lacking was one of our meals! We went to Craftsteak for one night of fine dining. At 10 am we made reservations for 8:30 that night. This is Tom Colicchio's place. Witchcraft is also his place and our lunch there was amazing.

We arrived early and were told our table was not ready yet, no big deal. We came back at 8:30. Our table? Still not ready evidently. Almost 10 minutes later, we were seated. A couple with no reservation walked up and were seated immediately. Well, there WERE only two of them. But wait... they were seated at the table next to us. It was the same exact size as our table... and we were sat by the kitchen in the very back corner. Hm. Whatever. (I'm thinking even though we were nicely dressed, they didn't approve of our tattoos/piercings etc.)
Whatever. After about 15 minutes of waiting, our order was taken. Then we were brought bread. Amazing, buttery, salty bread from heaven. Okay. Feeling better about the whole thing with the table. Half an hour later... they brought us... more... bread. Hm. Okay... 15 minutes later, salads and soups come out. (We'd been there an hour at this point) Okay, they were fantastic.. but jesus... an hour for salad and soup...?
So... 15 minutes later they bring us more bread. Seriously? We kept eating it because we were STARVING. We'd been there over an hour and they'd brought us SIX things of bread. Seriously.
15 more minutes (one hour and 30 minutes after we arrived), they brought us our food. It was OKAY. I had the chicken. 1/2 of a free range chicken, roasted for $36, with an $11 side of smoked paprika dusted french fries. Everyone else got steaks. They were cooked well, but the outside of the steaks were very black, in some parts too black. I can appreciate a good char, but it was a little much. Everything was over salted. They cut the steaks into strips before they serve them. I don't care for that, but whatever.
Overall, it wasn't worth the amount of money or time we spent with it.

That aside, we had a wonderful time in Las Vegas. It was magical. <3


Wegas baby


We easily walked 6 miles yesterday. I was so tired. We went all over the strip.

I'm at the hotel still this morning. Brian wanted to swim, but I think it's too cold.

Now we can't go to the strip until 11:30. I'm wishing we'd caught the 10:00 shuttle.

Just not sure what to do for an hour and a half. I'd like to gamble, but Brian loses his money so quickly because he doesnt get the concept of playing for entertainment.

Now we're at the pool where I cab either sit in the blazing hot sun or the freezing cold shade lol. Hate to complain so much. Just bored so far today.

Yesterday we ate at Hash House a Go Go, Witchcraft and Craftsteak. Hash House was amazing, witchcraft was awesome and Craftsteak was over rated as hell. I'd not go back.

We went to the Cosmopolitan and hung out in a very swanky bar for a while. It was beautiful. We went to NY NY and I bought a bag of just pineapple gummy bears.

We went to Jean Philippe's chocolate shop and I got a box of $10 little truffles. They were so good.

We went so many places!

I'm not sure what we're doing today. We are meeting everyone at the strip at some point. I know I can't do today what I did yesterday. Physically. I can't. I pushed it yesterday. Need to take it a bit easier today.

Today we have no reservations or schedule. Which is nice. We might try to see a show.

I saw hoodies for $10 at a souvenir shop by Denny's. I might grab one.

Well, gonna grab a mango orange naked juice from the bar And hit up some more slots.

Hope you're all well. <3

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Spring in my step

Today is the first day of spring! Yaay! So happy for it you guys!!

On Saturday I did my first 5k! It was AWFUL! hahahahaha. I dislike walking/running lol. It was an experience though for sure. Justin came in 155th. Brian and I were 844th and 844th LMFAO. Out of 921. We walked. So I'm not upset or something. It was just funny. Little kids were passing me. We did it in 49 minutes.

Afterward, we went shopping, I bought two new pairs of jeans and guess what? I've lost TWO pant sizes!!! I went from 14 to 12! I don't think I've worn 12's since like 2004 or something. Legit.

Then we went home and you think we'd want to rest. Instead we went on a 15 mile bike ride with Eddy!
bike biking

I feel the need to share a close up of this with you:
eddy face

Yesterday, I got new shoes! I NEVER get new shoes. I'm SO CHEAP that I will wear my shoes until they fall apart around my feet. Seriously. I had a pair of chucks once that you could see half of my foot through. Well, Brian told me I NEEDED to get new shoes and I deserve them for all the work I've been doing on my feet!
We went to the mall, which I hate, but after a few stores, I ended up with these:

They were only $30 on sale and I like them. They came with pink laces also and I swapped those in instead of the black.
I also got two pairs of Old Navy flip flops. Nothing says "It's spring!" quite like that first pair of Old Navy flip flops for the year! I got green and brown. My black ones from last year are alright still.

I'm also crazy excited about this little Herb Terrarium I got. I scored this thing at the thrift store for $2.50! Everything was in it except for the little stakes that tell you what's what, but it still had the stickers, so it's all good.

I planted a week ago and it's been sitting in the window getting all awesome for about a week now. The dome lid really traps the moisture and I was so excited to see sprouts this weekend!
(I'm easily excited.)

Speaking of excited... VEGAS!!! We leave Saturday morning. I don't think it's really set into my brain yet. I've been too busy. Yesterday I bought tooth brush covers, little bottles for shampoo etc. I found these adorable little sets with little bottles and little mini shower puffs lol. I got a blue set and a pink set.
I am seriously going to drink my weight in champagne out there. I don't know why I'm so set on so much champagne, but I need it in my life hahaha. I am going to be so bubbly the whole time I'm there, so champagne seems fitting!

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